Friday afternoon, I am walking around the room and I notice that a freshmen has the audacity to have an open bag of chips on her desk. I was HOT. "Put that up or get out"
The student has had a history of being defiant, rude, and disrespectful to me. So had it been another kid I would have been like, "put the chips up." But she will tell me when I give her detention that she is not going.
But still why did I just flip and get mad over that. Unless, you were a teacher, you wouldn't understand. I suspect that a parent might understand...though I am not a parent
But it is those little things that can drive CRAZY and I dont want to be crazy anymore... not like that anyway.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Why I left teaching
I left teaching because I grew tired of the cute little read heads, blondes, brunnettes. Straight hair, wavy hair, kinky coily hair. In all skintones imagineable, from porcelin to ebony and everywhere in between. With there braces and dimples, who may not have been the sharpest knife in the drawer but who tried and who loved you and smiled at you even when you were cranky
I grew tired of them because I couldn't teach them the way I wanted to. Because I was yelling at 10% who were being rude and disprespectful. And also because I was tired and burned out. And even though, I received teacher of the year, and outstanding test scores and great evaluations, I always seemed to feel that I fell short. I felt in adequate. I felt guilty like I had let them down, and I almost couldnt look them in the face somedays.
I grew tired of them because I couldn't teach them the way I wanted to. Because I was yelling at 10% who were being rude and disprespectful. And also because I was tired and burned out. And even though, I received teacher of the year, and outstanding test scores and great evaluations, I always seemed to feel that I fell short. I felt in adequate. I felt guilty like I had let them down, and I almost couldnt look them in the face somedays.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Three and 1/2 weeks
Last Monday, I walked into my principal's office and broke the news that I was leaving... for good. Teaching completely...I am done.
Being the big goofy teddy bear that he is, he just laughed. He was so surprised. I mean I don't blame him. Who does this. After almost nine years of teaching, six of them in the same county. Who comes in on a Monday morning in September and says I want out.
I told him this, just as I am telling you: it felt like a break up! I promised him that he would find someone new to fill my shoes because it is a great school to work at, and it is... really. I don't think I would want to teach any place else. The only thing is, I just don't want to teach.
I told him on the record, the drive is too long. (I got married in July and the commute is 45 minutes.)
He jokingly offered to come pick me up in the morning.
I told him off the record, I am done with teaching. I want my life back. I want my dreams back. I don't want all of my emotional energy wrapped up in this job that is not my passion.
Eventually, he understood. He said he was concerned because I didn't have a definite plan. I told him that I would like to temp while I get my head together. Truth is I am starting my own Educational Publishing Company...Scottsa Educational Publishing, but I am too shy to tell anyone what I am doing. It seems so OSTENTATIOUS of an idea, blingy and over the top. And I think it seems pretentious too.
Who are you to do this? So I just keep that to myself, except that I am blogging it to the world.
Being the big goofy teddy bear that he is, he just laughed. He was so surprised. I mean I don't blame him. Who does this. After almost nine years of teaching, six of them in the same county. Who comes in on a Monday morning in September and says I want out.
I told him this, just as I am telling you: it felt like a break up! I promised him that he would find someone new to fill my shoes because it is a great school to work at, and it is... really. I don't think I would want to teach any place else. The only thing is, I just don't want to teach.
I told him on the record, the drive is too long. (I got married in July and the commute is 45 minutes.)
He jokingly offered to come pick me up in the morning.
I told him off the record, I am done with teaching. I want my life back. I want my dreams back. I don't want all of my emotional energy wrapped up in this job that is not my passion.
Eventually, he understood. He said he was concerned because I didn't have a definite plan. I told him that I would like to temp while I get my head together. Truth is I am starting my own Educational Publishing Company...Scottsa Educational Publishing, but I am too shy to tell anyone what I am doing. It seems so OSTENTATIOUS of an idea, blingy and over the top. And I think it seems pretentious too.
Who are you to do this? So I just keep that to myself, except that I am blogging it to the world.
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